Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."--Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers have all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.

It doesn't matter if you're minding your own business, busily working, or honey-mooning thousands of miles away. No one is ever safe from Chelsea's fake e-mails and phony pregnancies, bogus smuggling schemes and made-up sports bets. Because whether it's premeditated or spur-of-the-moment, Chelsea will do anything for a laugh. And that's the truth.